Romance for Dummies
by Ambrosia2
Summary: “Oh, Hermione, have you read this part yet? It’s perfect! We should really try some of this stuff out.”


Romance for Dummies  
  
Ginny flopped down on Hermiones bed, snatching the book away from the brunette and closing it promptly. Hermione looked at her younger friend and glared, holding her hand out for the book. Ginny stifled a laugh when she read the cover.  
  
"Romance for Dummies? Are you serious Hermione? What is this rubbish?" Hermione seized the book from her and opened it back up, flipping through the pages, trying to find the spot she had left off at.  
  
"I know it sounds silly, but it's supposed to be. You see, the muggles, they make these manuals for just about everything: Computers, cars, cooking, foreign languages. You name it and they've got a guide for it. So this woman made a book about romance based on their how-to-for-dummies line and I happened to pick it up. It's not meant to be serious, just funny, though a lot of this does seem true."  
  
Ginny looked at her quizzically, both red eyebrows raised. With a mental nod to herself, she tackled Hermione once more and took the book from her, scanning the pages quickly, a smile growing on her face.  
  
"This is bloody brilliant!" she squealed, laying down on her back, book propped on her chest, reading quickly. "Oh, Hermione, have you read this part yet? It's perfect! We should really try some of this stuff out."  
  
"Gin, it's meant as a joke. You're not really supposed to do it." She said matter-of-factly, standing up from her bed. She straightened out the blanket and paced the room silently, watching the red haired girl with a smile.  
  
"You know, you could try it on Percy." Ginny piped up, still reading. Hermione flushed, running over to her.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Hermione insisted, fingers crossed behind her back.  
  
"Oh, it's dreadfully obvious, and rather gross too, that you fancy him. Oh look at this!" she said excitedly, pointing at the page. "It even has pictures! Oh, they have a dating section, and a kissing section, and a- Hermione, is this really appropriate?! Do we really need a how-to with visuals for that?!"  
  
Hermione flushed even redder, snatching the book away. "You do what you want, but I'm not going to do any of that. It's a gag book is all. No better than the things they sell at Zonkos." Ginny shrugged, standing up.  
  
"I think I might try it on Harry."  
  
Hermione watched her happy-go-lucky little friend in wide-eyed shock.]  
  
"On Harry? Why would you try it on Harry?" Ginny raised an eyebrow, placing her hand on her hip in almost a sassy model pose.  
  
"You know, for someone so bright and attentive, you sure do miss a lot." Hermione glared and the red haired girl backed away a few steps with palms raised defensively, should the angry girl in front of her decide to attack. "Don't worry, your not the only one who hasn't noticed. Harry's oblivious too."  
  
Hermione grabbed the book and hugged it to her chest possessively. "I can't believe you want to try some of that rubbish." Ginny smirked, throwing an arm around her friends' shoulders and walking her towards the door.  
  
"You know you want to as well. I can see you just itching to try it on one of my brothers. The question is, which one will it be? The tall goofy one too poor to buy a clue, or the smart arrogant one to poor too buy a life?"  
  
Hermione chuckled, shaking her head in wonder. Ginny sure did have a certain way with words. "You forgot the older dashing one who slays dragons." Ginny's mouth practically dropped open in surprise, brown eyes wide.  
  
"I'm kidding, kidding. Though you know, I do need an older man. Snape sure has been looking good these past few years eh? I'd let him stir my cauldron any day." Ginny shuddered and quickly walked away from the brunette, hiding behind the bed, fingers forming a protective cross.  
  
"Tell me you're kidding." She said seriously, looking abnormally pale. Hermione shook with laughter, throwing herself on the bed.  
  
"I really got you with that one Gin!" Ginny shoved her friend and glared at her.  
  
"That was seriously disturbing. What was 'stir my cauldron' a metaphor for though?"  
  
"I have no idea. Sounded like it meant something though, huh?" Ginny nodded her head and grinned, opening the book again, reading aloud one of the pages on "How to get a guy to notice you."  
  
"'First, saunter slowly toward chosen victim.' Victim? Is that what we're calling them these days? 'Make sure to swing your hips, and when he notices you, accidentally (on purpose) bump into them. Pout as well as possible and apologize in a husky voice. Ask if there is anything at all you can do for him. Accentuate the word 'anything' while curling a strand of hair around your finger. Lick your lips slowly and smile sweetly at victim. Rest assured, you have been noticed."  
  
Hermione shook her head, exhaling loudly. "I can't believe you want us to try doing that." She said, biting her lip.  
  
"Oh come on. Please?" the red head whined, sticking her lower lip out.  
  
Hermione took a deep breath. "Oh all right."  
  
Authors Note- I hope you liked the story, and I'm sorry if you didn't. Please review, I usually return the favor. Also, if you enjoyed this, please check out some of my other stories. I do plan on continuing this, and if you have any ideas for couples you'd realy enjoy seeing, tell me and I'll see if it will work. I can also include characters not yet mentioned, including Lavender, Parvati, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Neville, or teachers. Tell me who floats your boat and I'll get back to you.  
  
Disclaimer- As of 2099 I own Harry Potter and all merchandise. I even own the readers. Yes, I mean you.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!! 


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